Only days after returning from an adventure of a lifetime, Louise Hulbert’s world was torn apart when she had a stroke. Here, the author of From Burgos to Bedroom Floor and Back Again tells NR Times how she hopes to inspire other survivors with her story
Three years into retirement, and about to celebrate a landmark birthday, Louise Hulbert was making the most of her 60th year.
A lover of walking, she had just completed several stages of El Camino, a long-distance pilgrimage walk from France to Santiago de Compostela in northern Spain, crossing the Pyrenees on the way, covering up to 15 miles every day.
“We walked from St-Jean-Pied-de-Port to Burgos over three weeks, it was a great adventure, the latest of many, with many more set to come,” recalls Louise.
But shortly after returning to her Essex home, the adventure turned into a nightmare when Louise, a former PE teacher and lover of activity, woke up one morning on her bedroom floor, with no memory of how she had got there.
She had no feeling in her left arm or leg, and couldn’t get up from where she found herself. She lay there for several hours until she was found and rushed to hospital.
“It was absolutely terrifying. It was so unexpected and there was no symptoms of this beforehand, no warning. It never entered my head that someone as fit and healthy as me, who had been walking 15 miles a day only a few days earlier, could be having a stroke,” says Louise.
But that was the reality. Unbeknown to Louise, she had a blood clot which blocked the middle cerebral artery and cut off the oxygen supply to the right side of her brain.
A four month stay in hospital followed, which, says Louise, “felt like a lifetime”.
“I’ve always been so active and I just wanted to be up and about, back home and living my life. But that wasn’t something I could just go back to, sadly,” she says.
After being discharged, initially in a wheelchair, Louise had daily physio and occupational therapy for ten weeks, which enabled her to walk again with the aid of a stick.
“I think probably the worst bit of it all was that initial phase when I came home and I couldn’t get up and walk, I couldn’t get around my own house, I couldn’t even go to the loo on my own,” says Louise.
“To lose your sense of autonomy is absolutely dreadful.”
And while Louise pushed herself to be able to walk again, the psychological benefits were much more difficult to overcome.
“Looking back now, I realise how much I struggled,” she recalls.
“I totally lost all of my confidence and self esteem. I felt like a useless lump and a complete burden, a shadow of the woman I had been prior to the stroke.
“I lost the ability to make any decision for myself about anything. It could be that someone would phone and ask if I wanted to go out shopping, and I would defer to my partner for a decision.”
Walking was something Louise was determined to return to, and having been up and about with the aid of a stick within her first 10 weeks of being at home, she continued to challenge herself.
“I wanted to get back into walking outdoors, for me that would be a huge achievement and a big step forward as I love it so much,” she says.
“I live next to a country park and challenged myself to go a bit further every day. Over time I built up to being able to walk for half an hour, and by the end of the first lockdown I was walking for two hours each day.”
Setting goals was crucial for Louise in her recovery, enabling her to increase the targets as she progressed.
“I’ve inherited a very strong work ethic from my family and I don’t give up easily, I’m continuing to push what I can do. I’ve also had constant support and encouragement from my partner, which has been hugely important,” she says.
“I think you have to confront your fears and find a way of doing the things you love – or else you won’t.
“About five years after my stroke, I completed a 5k charity walk in Spain, which was the furthest I had walked since before it happened. I trained hard for it, like you would in any sport, and that was a big milestone for me.
“I now want to go back to El Camino and do another section of it by the time I’m 70, which is another challenge I have set for myself.
“I’m also driving on my own again. For a long time I wouldn’t have had the confidence to do that, but I took a dog soft toy with me which I found a great comfort. It helped me to regain some of my independence, which has been another big step.”
Now six years on from her stroke, Louise’s confidence is a “work in progress” but is building all the time through her volunteering work on the stroke rehab ward at King George Hospital in Essex, as well as with Stroke Rehab Dogs.
“It has helped me enormously. Working with fellow stroke survivors has been really important, and I also feel like I’m making a contribution, giving something back,” she says.
And from her huge strides forward in her physical and psychological recovery, the idea for Louise’s book was born. By sharing insights online with her Stroke Rehab Dogs group during lockdown, the charity’s director suggested she should make them into a book.
“I’ve never had any literary ambitions, so had never thought about writing a book at all, but it did seem to make sense the more I thought about it,” she says.
From Burgos to Bedroom Floor and Back Again is now available from major high street and online retailers, and is raising vital funds for three causes close to Louise’s heart – Canine Partners, Stroke Rehab Dogs and ARNI.
“It has been a very cathartic experience,” she says.
“Some days I’d finish writing on a real high, whereas others I would feel quite depressed. But it really helped me to process and understand what had happened, particularly psychologically.
“But the main motivation has always been that I want to help other people who find themselves in the situation I did. I want to help them find the inspiration to keep going, no matter how hard it seems.
“There are bad times, but it need not always be that way. By setting goals for your ambitions, and finding the strength to help yourself achieve them, you can reclaim your life.”
